Archive for March, 2021

Post-Divorce Living – How to Survive and Thrive During the Holidays After a Divorce

March 15th, 2021

Whether this is your first or tenth holiday season since your divorce, the time you get (or don’t get) to spend with your kids can be a sore spot. This time of year we want our family close and single parenting can be tough, even when you have a great relationship with your ex spouse.

In setting up the holiday parenting time schedule remember to be flexible.

The holidays don’t HAVE to be celebrated on a specific day. You can be creative with the time you have with your children and celebrate according to the single parenting time frames you have with them. The more pressure you put on celebrating on an actual day, the more likely you are to be stressed out, which gets passed on to your kids and ruins the holiday for everyone. This isn’t a matter of “giving in” and letting your ex-spouse get his/her way. This is about making a good holiday memory for you and your children. Don’t lose sight of that.

Any variations in the single parenting plan need to be discussed early (now) and both parties need to be in agreement about them.

In preparing for the holidays and the visitation schedule when single parenting, your first priority needs to be to do what’s best for your children, not necessarily what you want. Your divorce decree should have been very explicit about dates and times for holidays. If you don’t have a good co-parenting relationship with your ex-spouse, then attempting to vary from the decree can spell disaster. If there is any hesitation or uncertainty, don’t push the issue and stick with the divorce decree.

But what a new partner and his/her family?

How do they fit into the single parenting picture this year as well? Again, begin planning about this now! Find out what their schedules are and try to come up with some way (big or little) for you to celebrate the holidays together. This can include the children or just be a couple celebration.

The holidays are meant to be a time of reflection and celebration, not stress and rushing around. Take the time you have left, to plan accordingly so that you can enjoy the season. No matter how your year has turned out, there are things to be thankful for and celebrate so make the most of this holiday season while single parenting! Life does move forward after a divorce, so make great holiday memories with your children your primary goal this year.